Mastering Self-Care
How Can I Find the Balance I Need in Life?
Dr. Stephanie Lipnicki, DACM, LAc
Do you feel the term Self-Care is thrown around a lot? Or is it? Maybe it is shared because we as a collective have such a hard time taking care of ourselves.
When I had my children (now 18, 18, and 16) I was in a marriage that left me without much self care. I was in school part time and whenever I asked my ex for help with our kids, he would say I needed help because I wasn’t a good mother. . .they are his kids too!
When I think of how much better I could have been as a mother if I had the support and care I needed it’s heartbreaking. I wouldn’t want that for any other mom. AND I was a mom battling Endometriosis which is considered one of the top 10 MOST PAINFUL CONDITIONS!
Obviously I want EVERYONE to consider using Acupuncture as a form of Self-Care - it lowers stress, relieves pain, improves digestion, helps with depression, helps with menstrual conditions, just to name a few.
But what other things can you do for Self-Care? First and foremost, it needs to be doing things, or even just one thing that makes you feel good, recharges your inner batteries, and helps you feel supported in your life. Basically what works for me, might not work for you (sort of like Acupuncture - 10 people can come see me for the same thing (let’s say stress), but I will use different points on each of them because they are each unique individuals).
Some *ideas* for Self-Care to get you thinking:
If you like the outdoors - get outside and get some fresh air (okay maybe not today, here in NJ as I write this, it’s 15 degrees outside)
If you like journaling, clear your mind by taking 5 minutes to write your thoughts out
CRY - yes I said cry. My mentor always says tears are trapped emotions and when you let them go, you are moving that energy; I usually feel better after I let go of sadness built up inside. I even have ‘go to’ movies that I will watch if I know I need to cry and can’t get the damn to break
GET ACUPUNCTURE - okay come on you knew I was going to say that, I’m an Acupuncturist - and I didn’t make it the first thing. . . but really we Acupunks love to help you on the path to wellness! AND I couldn’t live without my needles - either giving a treatment or receiving a treatment
Get a Massage from a licensed Massage Therapist. I started out as a Massage Therapist and honestly, I NEED my massage every other week. Start out with committing to a monthly massage. See how it shifts the stress levels in your life.
SAY NO. . .FYI I am STILL learning to say no when I need to say no. I am a people pleaser and it isn’t always easy. If you say NO and someone else is mad that you say NO, that’s on them. If you need to preserve your energy, SAY NO.
For new moms, please please please please please. . .did I say please (?) find some time for yourself. Find a mother’s helper if you need to and take an hour here or there to have for yourself. It isn’t selfish, you will be a better mother for doing this. I’ve had new moms on my treatment table and carried their babies around my office just so they can have a little break. Now, not every Acupuncturist will do that, but some of us will.
Visit a place of beauty. I am not far from Grounds for Sculpture in Hamilton NJ. I joined as a member so that whenever I need beauty and fresh air, I can walk through the gardens and be around art - something I love. I also love walking near the ocean while my daughter is at her dance classes. Sometimes I sit in my car (if it is cold) and watch the waves from a short distance.
Read. Start with a commitment of 10 pages a day of a non-fiction book where you learn something new. Or better yet, curl up with a blanket and really good novel and spend the day reading.
Color. . .Yup, get a box of crayons and a coloring book and sit and color. I actually have coloring books - and those who know me get this - with LOTS of foul language and I’m not going to lie - it feels really good to color in a coloring book with the word f*ck.
Apart from some of the things I mentioned above, I also do the following:
Pedicures (it actually helps me to have less back pain because Manicurists can give great foot massages)
Sit quietly for a few minutes (I just often need quiet - especially in the morning before I am awake)
Art - Origami, painting, cross-stitch
Learning languages on Duolingo
Swimming (although not lately due to covid, but it is one of my favorite things to take care of me)
Tap Dancing and Belly Dancing
Experiment with different things and find ways to decompress. For me Self-Care is about finding your equivalent to the cliche putting the oxygen mask on first before the person next to you. The better care you take of yourself, the happier you will be! Mostly, I think of Self-Care as the “hobbies” that nourish me the most.
Self-Care = Self-Love.
And hopefully, you will find the time to make it on to my treatment table or another Acupuncturist’s table!
Be well!
Dr Stephanie